I've been around people since 11: 30 a.m. In order for my son and I to have a stay-at-home playdate, we had to have a friend come over to attend my daughter--why does that sound so fancy?--so my son and I could have 1:1 time today. A surprise visit from my sister-in-law and then my father and step-mother-in law Christmas scheduled later . . . Believe when I say I am exhausted. I need to crash.
However, I was delighted to see most of these people. Despite being an introvert, I can mingle with people very well. I am very open with most of them, I expect them to accept me as I am despite any flaws that they may perceive. I am grateful to--for?--them. I appreciate them, I mean. They're my people. Listening to the podcast "Me, We, Everybody" series by The RobCast. They are included in my "We". Because I have allowed them into my inner circle, I enjoy their company.
But, fuck it is draining.
My son has a lot of energy. It worries me sometimes. He's headstrong. But in a lot of ways, he is sweet, and smart-he's very smart! But, like most parents--I suspect--I worry about school going forward, I worry about his social skills--will he have any? How much of that is being recently driven by the pandemic of 2020, I'm not sure. He's very honest about his emotions and I think it's beautiful if--frustrating at times.
I thought I was going to be able to write a lot tonight . . . I figured with all of the energy I outputted today, I would be able to plug in and recharge by writing. But the words are failing me, my actions are slow as if requiring every ounce of my strength to comply. My brain is saying sleep even as my heart resents it's necessity.
Good night everyone. I wish everyone a safe and warm New Years. I hope more people where masks than those that don't. I hope more people feel inclined to pick up a book than those that refuse. I hope more people begin to open themselves to the possibility that the "Everybody" can achieve if we all work together as a human species. A human race. Happy New Years.
